Hey,
So I made this new website for myself to be able to write out my thoughts and share them publicly.
I write a lot. My Apple Notes are filled with writing. I like to write stuff because I’m always always in my head just thinking about shit because most of the time I’m alone by myself. I want to share my thoughts here and get it down into a more refined setting mainly for myself but maybe one day when I’m gone this will stay up there on the internet forever. That’s one thing I find interesting. Doing stuff that lives forever. Like making a website sharing my thoughts or making YouTube videos. If I ever die all that stuff will be out there still. I think that’s very cool. That’s a reason I’m doing this. All them notes would just die in my phone. I also have realized I like writing. I hate talking. Actually I don’t talk very much. Like today. I spent the entire day alone and I haven’t talked at all. It does get hard sometimes and I do need to talk to people.
I guess I should tell a little bit about me. I’m 27 years old and I live in Finland. I make YouTube videos and sell stuff online for a living and I have been able to live full time from that for over 2 years now. It’s cool I can work from wherever I want whenever I want but that’s also the bad part about it haha. I’m always working. I’m always also alone as I work by myself. I live in Finland and I got 0 like-minded friends to talk about this stuff. I would love to have some other people who are doing similar stuff to me to talk to. I also love running. I run every day and multiple times a day if my legs can take it. I would run even more but my legs can’t take it so I go to the gym. I don’t really drink and I’ve never done any drugs but I must say running and gym etc. exercise is a drug to me. But I genuinely enjoy it I just overdo it sometimes. I wake up and run, then I eat breakfast and work until lunch. I eat lunch and work some more. Then I run or go to the gym and work and eat dinner. I’ve gotten better at taking some time off to chill after dinner but before I go to bed I always prepare for the next day aka work a little more. Then I go to sleep and do it all again. I do this 6x days a week and I got into a bad habit of rewarding myself with a “cheat day” of eating whatever I want on Saturdays after a week of work and eating healthy but I’ve actually gotten out of that cycle now as I’m currently working on dropping a couple kgs of fat so that I can run better. I enjoy living a healthy lifestyle and waking up early. I make videos about music production and I make beats. That lifestyle is the opposite of my lifestyle so that’s why I don’t feel like I fit in the producer community but I do feel like I fit in with YouTubers I just don’t know any YouTubers and have developed a pretty bad social anxiety over the years of pursuing and trying to make all this work and now that I’m here I need to turn my focus on working on the social anxiety goddammit.
Anyways I think this is a good first post I will write again soon.
– Max